Giving Birth (The anti-literal way)

All my friends– well, not all. That’s an exaggeration. Because some of my friends are men. And some are beyond child-bearing years. And some are simply done with having children. And some just have zero plans to have children. But for the sake of blanket statements everywhere, ALLLLLL my friends are pregnant! So, there is lots of talk about trimesters. I’m feeling a little left out. Well, I would be if I were prone to the whole pregnancy thing and the want of having kiddos. But because I’m completely self-involved and want to interject myself into every life experience, I’m going to talk about giving birth to an education. I’ll soon be in my second semester. My ankles are starting to swell.

I waited a little too long to sign up for classes. I don’t know why. I was just stubborn. My whole plan of nabbing a lab science totally fell through the cracks. The only openings were for evening classes, and let’s face it… being only my second semester, I just don’t feel the fierce urgency to stretch myself. It’s still early. I have time. Right? Right. So, I’ll be taking introduction to Psychology. Be afraid. I will analyze you from afar. And honestly, I think you are all a little manic. Just sayin’.

I’m also taking Comp II, more algebra (yes, I’m still in dumb math because I think all math is dumb and won’t start smart math until next semester when math will remind me just how dumb I am) and U.S. History for $100, Alex. Anyone up for baby education sitting? You’re free to eat anything in the kitchen but whatever you do, don’t look in the office closet. You have been warned.