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Just the Facts

December 4, 2011

Sorry for the disappearing act. It was sort of beyond my control. I certainly made the decisions to get to a particular point, but eventually, control was taken from me. I was hospitalized from Nov. 25 until 4:00 p.m. Friday. Someday, I’ll share that experience because I have been EOD (emergency order of detainment) before, but this experience was… I can’t even begin to describe it. And I’m not ready to reopen that door. I will say this is the most backwards state I have ever been in.

But, I am home now. Tomorrow I have to go to Tulsa for follow-up, which I guess means finding a psych doc who will continue monitoring medications. If I don’t get a grip, I will be court ordered into longterm care psychiatric treatment.

I don’t know where I am emotionally. I don’t know where I am educationally. I guess I feel numb and indifferent when I am not having brief episodes of intense anger.

I’m going to end with a favorite quote:

“You can lead a horse to water, and you can even make him drink, but you can’t change his point of view.”

 

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5 Comments
  1. Karen permalink

    You’re still mentally processing this, and you may never want to talk about it, which is fine. I’m also guessing something very big and very negative happened leading up to this, and I wish I had magic powers to fix whatever that was — but then again, maybe whatever it was was something that needed to happen, hurtful as it was. I am hoping for your sake that your education can pick up again where it was interrupted. Look after yourself, my friend.

  2. We are all rooting for you Cara. Remember, that no matter what, we are all your friends. Even if you feel alone, you are not. I learned this first hand when we lost Brad… You were one of the first to connect with me, holding me up. It’s my turn… I care, even if that’s all I can do from here… I care.

  3. Ditto to Karen. (I wish I could come up with something as perfect as she always does! 🙂 )
    Love you. Talk to you soon.

  4. Can you make the horse eat pie? CAN YOU???

    Hope you’re doing well. Thinking of you!!!

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